Summer can be boring.

I've been bored lately. I don't have a job. I keep going out and buying things so I am not bored. Also, I hang out at Barnes and Noble way too much. Speaking of, I think I'm going to go buy a Moleskine. I'm gonna be all Darwinian about it.

Summer Reading for Desperate Students

I am recording my summer reading list here. Because I can.

I Was Told There'd Be Cake - Sloane Crosley (genuinely enjoyed it.)
Don't Get Too Comfortable - David Rakoff (what a waste of time and energy.)
Biohazard - Ken Alibek
The Mommy Myth: The Idealization of Motherhood and How It Has Undermined All Women - Susan Douglas This totally wasn't the book I thought it was going to be, therefore, I have nixed it.
My Life In France - Julia Child
New Kings of Non-Fiction - Ira Glass (ed.)
The Meaning of Wife: A Provocative Look at Women and Marriage in the Twenty-first Century - Anne Kingston
This Is Not Chick Lit: Original Stories by America's Best Women Writers - Elizabeth Merrick (ed.)
The Secret History of Moscow - Ekaterina Sedia
Professor Martens' Departure - Jaan Kross
Animals in Translation: Using the Mysteries of Autism to Decode Animal Behavior - Temple Grandin
Travels with Herodotus - Ryszard Kapuscinski
Dojczland - Andrzej Stasiuk
Lalka - Boleslaw Prus
Balkan Ghosts: A Journey Through History - Robert D. Kaplan
The Botany of Desire: A Plant's-Eye View of the World - Michael Pollan
Between Fire and Sleep - Jaroslaw Anders

I've given it serious thought.

2 Rum and Cokes

I'm a lightweight at best.

10:16 PM
me: MARVIN. Lady Gaga has a great ass.
I want french fries.
Tzatziki.
And ranch
PIckles.
Big macs.
Spicey Chikn Sammmich.
10:17 PM
me: Grape juice.
There's an app for that.
Grape juice app.
DENNY;S
There's an app for that.
10:18 PM
Alkaline trio is so gay.
Cheetos.
10:19 PM
OMG. JOHN TRAVOLTA LOOKS SO WEIRD NOW.
White Castles.
10:21 PM
I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
10:22 PM
Marvin, do you remember in grade school, when someone would barf.. they had those woodchips?
What IS THAT?
Brett Favre loves Wranglers. And probably Nascar.
10:23 PM
Are you doing sexes with ladies?

He died in a bizarre gardening accident.

He did.

Sloane Crosley... I hate you.

I read "I Was Told There'd Be Cake" this week and it made me upset. I enthusiastically read every essay and I loved each one. Of course, I acknowledged that I was destined for self-loathing because Crosley is the writer I could never be. I don't think she is a particularly great writer... however, her style is so similar to mine that its a little creepy. I mean, I'm neither a writer nor a literary pundit but Jesus, if I only applied myself a couple of percentage points more, I could have wrote this book. Instead I am complaining in my blog that is littered with grammatical mistakes. Hmph.

Your face. Don't wash it.

I've been having problems with my skin lately. I've always had good skin, and then POOF! blackheads and pimples everywhere. So, I pretty much tried everything.. Organic bullshit, Neutrogina bullshit. Its all bullshit... you know what works? DON'T WASH YOUR FACE. I used to never wash my face and I had great skin... all of a sudden I started washin' it and then I magically got pimples. I'm telling you... its a conspiracy. They try to keep you hooked on the products, man...

I just had the most lovely day. I went to the gym and then I stayed to lay out by the pool. I felt like a kitten on a windowsill, except there were more frat boys and overexposed breasts.

In order to fulfill the requirements for my FLAS fellowship, I have to learn a new, less commonly taught language. I chose Czech, because well, I don't know why. I enjoy their literary tradition, I guess. Anyhow, these Czechs are CRAZY. They seem to hate vowels, even though they have 10.

Observe:

mrzl (frozen solid), ztvrdl (hardened), scvrkl (shrunk), čtvrthrst (quarter-handful), blb (fool), vlk (wolf), or smrt (death)

Check out this sentence:
"strč prst skrz krk," or "Smrž pln skvrn zvlhl z mlh."

WHAT?!

Oh boy, oh boy.

Let me tell you... trying to customize this thing was a challenge. I pretty much failed, too. Oh well. I am almost done with school. My head hurts from writing about Slovenia. I shake my fist at Slovenia.